I’ve manifesting stuff for a while now (well my whole life but you know, ‘consciously’) and it’s dawned on me - LIKE REALLY SMACKED ME IN THE FACE - that it never about the actual thing you are trying to manifest, but how it makes you feel.
Recently, I’ve playing with manifesting my ideal relationships, but instead of focussing on how I want to F E E L (and knowing I can always tap into this), I was becoming so attached to what it would look like that I was missing the point.
A few months ago I was deciding whether to follow my heart, and take a trip to Sydney (albeit, to visit a man - sigh). And so of course I applied my manifesting powers by describing word for word, what this would look like.
Now the signposts have changed and it’s no longer going to be E X A C T L Y what I expected would happen. After I got over the initial disappointment (due to those pesky lil EXPECTATIONS) I started to fear - what does this mean?
Am I not good at manifesting? (LOL)
At this point I had been SOLIDLY scripting this trip for 4 months.
But the feeling of adventure and spontaneity, of love was always there. I had the time off work (grateful), I was staying in an AirBnB fit for a #queen (killing it), and the space to think and write and walk and swim and make art and DO ALL THE THINGS I LOVE.
I was just looking for it all externally, and choosing to rely on someone else to create the feeling for me, so I could avoid the sadness that comes with grieving something completely conjured in the imagination that it seems so real, yet was based on a list of assumptions which had not been checked for accuracy.
And then universe was all like NUP.
(But it was more of a Nameste-nup, like Buddha would do looking at you all mysteriously with a corner-of-the-mouth-curly smile).
And I realised - it is never about what it looks like - its always about achieving the FEELING behind the thing. And ever since the seed for this trip was planted, despite the signposts changing, it still feels so FUCKING right to be going.
So here is to going anyway, going with an open mind, a wild heart and gentle curiosity: Universe - show me - HOW COULD IT GET BETTER THAN THIS?