My Pre-Date Routine

The energy we bring to a date, particularly a first date, is SO IMPORTANT. 

For me, the most important about those first, second and third dates is that you are open to getting to know the other person. For exactly as they are.

If we are nervous (but trying not to show it) a bit broken (because the last first date you went on was a disaster) or simply rushing to meet someone after work, we are not showing up as the ideal version of ourself. But more importantly, this influences our perception of the other person, and we might dismiss them prematurely because we were not open to receiving what they had to show us.

For me, this has meant I often dismissed really kind, generous, open-hearted men because they 'weren't my type'. But I have noticed that the more I can stay present and open, I not only feel more attraction for the other person, but they tend to be more present and open as well. 

When we deny our emotions, they are still present in our energetic body (or 'aura'). However, we become stuck analysing them in our heads, leading to us not really being present and sending the message that we are not open (even this is what we truly want!).

The more you can be in your body, exuding sensuality and feminine energy, the more your date will polarise his energy to be in his masculine.

Today I'm sharing the practices I do before going on a date - an extra 10 - 20 minutes can make all the difference to how you feel, and the energy you bring to the date. Enjoy!


Set an intention

Sit down in a comfortable position, perhaps with your back against the wall, somewhere you won't be disturbed. Focus on your breathing and put your hand on your heart.

Set the intention for your date. You could write it down or just repeat your intention out loud, saying in the present tense how you want to feel going into the date. For example

I feel grounded in my body and open in my heart.
I surrender to mystery, the unknown, and let it unfold exactly as it should.
I am worthy of love.
I have a lot to offer someone, and I deserve to have all my needs met.

If you are new to dating, then perhaps the intention for the date is to  learn more about yourself by noticing what the other person is reflecting back at you. Or, if this is date number three or four with a person you really like - and you want to take the conversation a bit deeper - your intention might be to show your vulnerability by telling them how you feel. I share some tips in my Conscious Dating and Relationships Guide about how to do this.

Self pleasure

Practice breathing sexual energy from the base of your spine and up to the crown of your head, suspending the breath for 5 counts, before letting it flow down your body on the exhale. Do this a couple of times before dancing, and finish by sitting in meditation again.

Practice Mindfulness

While you get ready, try to bring sensual awareness to every action - For example, give yourself a head massage while you wash your hair, move your hips and dance as you get dressed and take in the smell of essential oils or perfume. By activating all the senses, you can reconnect back into the body and your feminine essence.