Navigating Doubt in Relationships

Throughout my dating life, I have experienced doubt in my relationships. And despite what anyone tells you, there will come a point in time where an element of doubt will enter your mind about a relationship.

I believe this occurs when there is a disconnection between our heart and our head. On the one hand, our head (or our inner critic or ego) wants to keep us safe. And it does this by looking for what is familiar to us, and warning us of what is not familiar. Our heart on the other hand, wants to experience the fullest expression of love it can. When we listen to our heart, it is always guiding us closer to love, whatever form or shape that takes.

When intimacy and love starts to deepen and grow in a relationship, our mind can start to get scared.  And depending on the stories we have around love and relationships will depend on how we go about seeking or avoiding love.

Throughout our life we experience ebbs and flows of doubt and desire, wondering “am I in the right place?” or “where am I going with my life?” and “Is this what I meant to be doing?” And its no different for our relationships.

If we have been living from a head space for a long time, our life and relationships will be created around head-based goals and ideas, rather than feelings and intentions. And if we then start to tune into our heart, we might realise we need to make some drastic changes to the way we are living and relating.

The purpose of doubt is to help you come back to your heart, and back to the body. It’s a sign to ask the heart “Is this right for me?” or “Is this what I'm looking for” and “Is this the relationship I am meant to have?” And, even if you’re scared, even if you’re not ready to take action, to just listen.

In the past, I was only taking actions based on the thoughts in my head. In my relationships, I looked for obvious signs, based on standards I had set for ‘good’ relationships and what I believed I should want. I shamed myself for constantly doubting the relationship, squashing my desire even further, wishing it away so I could just be content and happy.

It takes bravery and courage to act from the heart. Sometimes it will not always make logical sense. But the more that you can tune into your heart, the more your heart will guide you towards love in every moment. Allow yourself to be surprised by a life where you can be present with a connection for what it is, rather than what it could be.

I hope you enjoyed this video. If you have any questions, please comment below on the video and I'd happily answer them. I’ll be creating more videos and blog posts on relationships and love, so if there are any topics you want me to speak about then please get in touch!

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